Maggie and Brian got married in May of 2006. Chris and I didn’t go to the wedding together. I spent the summer of 2006 staying at Maggie’s grandfather’s house on Fairway East. Chris came over occasionally and stayed with me a handful of nights (scandalous!). Our connection was still there, but we weren’t committed to one another.
We drifted apart again at some point in 2006/2007, and eventually went our separate ways. My grandmother passed away, which had a huge impact on my life. Chris did attend her funeral with me. But I don’t think he understood how profoundly I was affected – by the situation and by him. We just weren’t in sync…yet.
In the years that followed, we both tried to move on. But no matter what, we always remained friends. And I think we both knew that we’d be there for each other regardless of circumstance.
There were weddings – Eric & Emily in 2008, Greg & Meg in 2012 – where we were there, but not together. There were house parties and birthday parties of mutual friends where we talked, but left it all at the door on the way out. But this is also where he’d refill my drink at the bar as a kind gesture or miraculously lose his lighter and need to borrow mine. Where the stares got dangerously long. Where the playful touch on the arm lingered. Where goodbye the kisses on the cheek got daringly close to the lips. We were magnets. And I felt it every. single. time.
I wish I wrote more down during this time. I knew I missed Chris, but it’s almost as if I didn’t want to admit it. But he was always there somehow, some way. I thought about him often. I’d pop back in to town every now and then hoping maybe I’d run into him. I played our songs and reminisced – sometimes I’d cry.
But still, I never lost hope. And finally, in the spring of 2014, fate decided it was time…